Identity Crisis

Hi all,

This week we were truly blessed here in 9 de Julio. We started off working super hard Monday, but at about 6:15 in the evening the front tire of Hermana Cordova’s bike made some serious contact with my left knee. I braked at an intersection for cars to pass, and she couldn’t brake fast enough. But luckily, my bike was there to keep her from riding into traffic.  Down side--her front tire was stopped by my left knee, and I have a killer bruise to show for it. I am doing better now, but it made for slow moving on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Injuries really mess with my desire for efficiency. We still worked so hard. We had a lot of CPV´s with investigators and were able to bring members to many lessons. By Thursday, the Lord had led us to enough new investigators that we finished our key indicators by Thursday night. It was such a blessing to keep moving on with our momentum and keep finding and teaching for the rest of the week. I would say it was almost a completely stress free week, but with transfers coming up there is always a little stress. Because Hermana Cordova has only three weeks in the area, I am trying really hard to help teach her the area so that we can be ready for whatever happens. (If I’m transferred or no.) Our two progressing investigators right now are Raul and Ester. They are progressing really well towards their baptismal dates of Feb. 1st and Jan. 25th.

I had a small panic attack this morning when I realized that I have been on my mission for 11 months! I am also finding myself in relatively the same situation as my investigators. After they learn of the gospel and start making changes they are no longer who they once were. But at the same time, the vision starts to grow of who they can be. This vision is motivating, but sometimes there is this little moment in the middle, when they are no longer who they once were and not close to who they want to be, where Satan can gain power as they try and redefine themselves. And just like my investigators I am currently in this position. No longer who I was, not even close to who I want to be. I think that this is a kind of an identity crisis. And, yes, this place in the middle is very uncomfortable. With less than 7 months left in my mission, I am having a hard time with feeling like I don´t have enough time to progress like I want. I am trying hard to remember that who I want to be is a lifetime goal, that I don´t need to feel so bad that I am not that person yet, and that I can always keep working because the Atonement doesn’t have an expiration date. 

I will still have anxiety, but I have faith in the Lord's plan.  I feel so strongly that the timing of my mission is divine. 

Miracle of the week. You asked about my Spanish, and I had a little miracle this week. Friday morning, we woke up, and my companion asked how I slept.  I said that I had slept a little restlessly, and she said that she could tell because I was talking in my sleep.  I told her that this happened a lot with Herman Sanchez, and I apologized to Hermana Cordova for disturbing her sleep.  I told her that Hermana Sanchez always said it would be a lot more funny if she could understand what I was saying.  But then Hermana Cordova said, “No you were speaking in Spanish!” I did a happy dance! Then, I asked what I said.  And she said that I was talking like I was in a district meeting, hahaha.  Ohh, dreams in the mission.  So the good news is that I am pretty sure that I really speak Spanish.  I think in Spanish,  I talk in Spanish, I read in Spanish, and I even dream in Spanish and talk in my sleep in Spanish. Anyone, who was in my Spanish classes in school, knows that this is a miracle. The only problem now is I am worried about having to switch completely back to English because there are just things that mean more to me when I say them in Spanish.  Spanish is the language of the thoughts of my heart.   But we shall see.  The weirdest thing is that it doesn’t even occur to me that it is another language anymore.  This is probably adding to my identity crisis.

Lots of birthdays this week! Happy birthday to my awesome, handsome, smart, studly brothers this week! Stay away from the girls and start your mission papers without delay!  You will never regret that decision. Love you. Happy Birthday Josh, Jazz, and Sean.  Send me pictures of the baptism.  If I’m missing someone--happy birthday to all my family with January birthdays this week.

I find out about the transfers this evening.  I’m fine either way.  Love you all.  Have a great week!

xoxo,
Hermana Chloe

First, this is my new hat. We are allowed to wear hats because the sun is so strong.  Also, this is a cute little puppy.  About two weeks ago all the dogs in 9 de Julio gave birth to puppies, and now we have these cute things running around everywhere.  It is so cute and fun.  I love me some puppies!  It is true that in Argentina there are a lot of dogs in the streets, but fortunately here in 9 de Julio those dogs are cute and mostly friendly:)

I bought the ribbon separately and tacked it on, a la Aunt Wendy! In the back the hat is split and the ribbon is at the bottom and ties into a bow.  I bought this hat for 4 reasons. One, because my head is to big for any other hat I could find here; two, because of the pony tail slash; three, because it is cute; and four, because it was cheap.

Hermana Cordova y yo